Mind Over Mane-Iac
by Darkryt Orbinautz
Summary: Rainbow Dash, Power Pony alias "Zapp," lives to save the day and keep citizens free from tyranny. But when she unknowingly falls for one of her arch-enemies, can she salvage the situation? Or will her divided loyalties cost her everything? On Hiatus. Planned to return May next year.
1. Issue 1: Arrows of Love!

**Note: This story is the work of Darkryt Orbinautz.**

**A My Little Pony Fanfiction**

**Mind Over Mane-Iac**

**Issue 1 In A Seven-Issue Mini-series!**

"**Arrows of Love!"**

_After a routine mission beating the Mane-iac, The Power Ponies have to deal with another frustrating foe; being out of groceries. But while at the store, Rainbow Dash struggles with an even more worrying predicament: being struck by Cupid!_

* * *

><p><strong>IN<strong> a desolate and lifeless foundation made from steel and iron, lit only by the smooth gleam of the silver moon and what little light peeked from the building's windows, the shadow of a figure crept in the pitch-black night. It rose up like a budding flower from the edge of an old ventilation machine.

The shadow ducked and rolled, moving from the cover of one dinged-up useless machine to the next. It raised its hoof and made the motions of a beckoning signal.

Out from the machine the shadow had whence emerged from, crept out five more shadows which joined the first.

Most ponies might question the wisdom of going to a forsaken facility in the dangerous dark. Most ponies might decide it best to stay home and leave the rest of the world alone to its own devices. Not these six. For these six were not most ponies.

No, they were special. They answered the calls no one else would, to do the jobs no one else could. They were lights in the darkness. They were defenders of truth, justice, and the Equestrian way. They were calm protectors against an ever-present, ever-changing mass of chaos, a chaos which was always just out of sight but always looming overhead.

They were (and are) ... the POWER PONIES!

Including The Masked Matter-horn, able to send out beams ranging from the most scorching heat to the coldest frost. Mistress Mare-Velous, who wields an enchanted lasso in combat. Radiance, with the power to make anything she can think of into a solid construct. Fili-Second, able to run at several hundred-thousand miles per hour (and who the Masked Matter-horn would be quick to point out, was not a real measurement of seconds. Milliseconds, yes, microseconds, yes, nanoseconds, yes, but not Fili-Seconds). Zapp, with her enchanted amulet that could bend the weather to her will. Last and least was Saddle Rager … who was too shy and timid to do much. Unless she got angry, which triggered a transformation in her into a monstrous rampaging beast! But she was just so gosh-darned all the time, getting her angry was too much of a hassle.

On this dim and starry night, the Power Ponies had received a tip-off about suspicious ponies in barbershop outfits who were going in and out of an abandoned shampoo-making factory. A description which perfectly matched the _modus operandi_ of their bitter nemesis, THE MANE-IAC! A former hair product sales-ponies turned superpowered criminal, the Mane-Iac was a mutated pony whose hair was green, pliable, and extendable, the long reach of her tentacles working without end to fuel her plans for world domination! Hair-based world domination.

The factory having its lights on at this late hour was in itself suspicious enough, but the Power Ponies needed to only the faintest echo of the Mane-Iac's distinctive cackle for the confirmation of their suspicions and the validation of the anonymous tip-off.

The Masked Matter-horn found an air-duct and directed the other Power Ponies to it. Using her power the way a construction worker uses a wielding torch, she melted the metal of the duct and tore the door off. It was too small for their bodies to fit in, but they were prepared. Radiance created a large hammer to chisel out enough space for them to get through.

"Oooh." Saddle Rager whined as they crawled into the dusty, abandoned space. "Do we have to be here? I'd much rather be at home with my animal friends."

"Tough it up, Rager!" Zapp snapped. "We've got a job to do, and that job is kick the Mane-iac's flank into next week! If you don't wanna do it, fine, but we'll just carry on without you!"

"Zapp, there's no need to be rude." Radiance said. "Saddle Rager is simply stating she would prefer to be at home. I would prefer to be at the spa, but we chose to take this duty as our own and we will fulfill it. Isn't that right, Rager?"

Rager sighed. "I guess ..."

The Masked Matter-horn, at the front of the pack, turned around and gave the order for silence. They had arrived at the end of the ventilation shaft, where they could spy with their little eyes the Mane-iac and her goons, attempting to reactive the disused machinery, no doubt for their nefarious plans to create shampoo.

EVIL shampoo.

"Tonight, minions, we shall take Maretropolis!" The Mane-Iac shouted, using her tentacles to give herself a perch at the highest point of the machinery. "And I know I say that every time ..." The minions murmured amongst themselves in agreement. "But I really mean it this time! We SHALL take Maretropolis through that most beautiful of natural accessories – hair! Think about it. Who doesn't love hair? Who doesn't wake up and brush their mane first thing in the morning? And with my new scheme, minions, we shall use the natural beauty of hair to convert the world to our way of thinking! We will show them the LIGHT! … of hair!"

A minion raised their hoof. "I have a question."

"Yes?"

"What if sompony's bald? What do we do then?"

"That's a good question." Saddle Rager said. "I mean, what if they have a condition that prevents them from growing hair?"

"Yeah." Another minion muttered. He turned to his fellow, who nodded. "That's a good point!"

The Mane-Iac stiffened like a hound taking point. "Who's there? Who is talking over my grand moment uninvited?"

Matter-horn put her hoof to her face.

"Um ..." Rager muttered. "Nopony! Nopony is there. Pay no attention to mares behind the ventilation shaft."

The Mane-Iac looked upward, tapping her chin with a tentacle. She pointed upwards. "Minions, I'm not sure why, but I think you should check that ventilation shaft."

"Oh, forget it." Matter-horn used her horn to blast the ventilation grate off the wall, blowing it into smithereens – A MOST DRAMATIC ENTRANCE!

"Power Ponies!" Mane-iac swore.

"Yes, it's us." Matter-horn growled. "And Mane-iac … you're late for your _haircut_."

The Mane-iac was not so easily cowed. She reared up and pointed her tentacles at them the way a porcupine bared its needles at predators. "Minions, GET THEM!"

The minions tensed up to pounce on their prey, but the Masked Matter-horn proved far more reactive than them, dispatching a large number of them with a single laser beam of heat which she swept over the room. She jumped down from the grate, allowing Radiance to materialize a set of stairs for the others to climb down on – after all, safety was first.

The Power Ponies now on the ground level with their opponents, the minions lunged and charged at the masked team. However, them being thugs and mooks with no powers or abilities of their own, and the Power Ponies equipped with the special abilities to bend nature and defy science, the fight was a lopsided one at best.

Zapp raised her amulet up and created a cloud, which rained down ice and snow until the floor was too slippery for the hooves of the minions to get any traction on. They slipped and fell. Radiance created three walls of energy, which she placed on the ground around the minions, cornering them like cattle ripe for the slaughter. That "slaughter" being the Matter-horn blasting them all with a freeze ray, binding their iced-over hooves to the iced-over floor.

Meanwhile, Fili-Second was going through the machines of the factory, opening panels, unplugging wires and disconnecting circuits, much to the frustration of the Mane-iac.

"Oh, what does this button do?" Fili-Second asked as she ripped out a cord from a machine.

"No! Stop that!" Mane-iac hissed, snapping her tentacles at Fili-Second. Fili-Second was unto a flash of lightning – here one minute and gone the next as she sped through the complex, dismantling machinery bit by bit to foil the Mane-Iac's evil plan, whatever it was going to be.

"What's the matter, Mane-iac?" Mistress Mare-velous teased as she used her lasso on another mook. "Don't like sharing yer toys?"

"NO! No, I don't! Oooh, I'll get you pesky Power Brats!"

"Ah doubt it!" Mare-velous shouted as another minion got the drop on her, trying to attack her rope with a pair of scissors. "Git … off!" Mare-velous struggled with the determined mook until Matter-horn took care of him with a laser blast. To the FACE.

Mare-velous turned to Matter-horn. "Thanks, hon. Yer a doll."

"Don't mention it." Matter-horn waved her hoof. "Now, to put the Mane-iac behind bars once and for all!" She looked up to the Mane-iac's perch. The Mane-iac herself had vanished and gone, no doubt having fled while the Power Ponies were distracted by her mooks – a sure sign of her disregard for their safety and health.

"PINKIE PIE!" Matter-horn screamed. "YOU LET HER GET AWAY!"

"What?" Fili-Second, or Pinkie Pie, questioned as she enjoyed tugging on more wires. "I'm sorry, I was more focused on playing with all the fancy doodads inside of the machines and their doo-hickeies!"

Zapp shook her head. "Pinkie Pie, what are we going to do with you?"

* * *

><p>In truth, the Power Ponies each had a secret, civilian identity which they used their costumes to hide from the world. Zapp was the weatherpony and aspiring Wonderbolt, Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie, Super-Duper Party Pony, was Fili-Second. Radiance was Rarity, a fashion designer, farmer pony Applejack was Mistress Mareve-velous, and Saddle Rager was Fluttershy, a timid animal caretaker. The Masked Matter-horn was Twilight Sparkle, envoy of Princess Celestia.<p>

They took up the costumes to protect themselves and their loved ones from enterprising villains who might be tempted to take hostages or strike them when their guard was down in the safety of their home. Said home was a shared mansion in Maretropolis.

After thwarting the Mane-iac's scheme, even if they failed to apprehend the Mane-iac herself, the Power Ponies returned to the mansion. They went inside through a secret entrance, so nopony could see them enter and make the connection between their vigilante selves and their secret identities.

Inside the mansion, a portrait lifted up and swung to the side, exposing an elevator chute. The elevator which accompanied the chute rose up soon after and dinged before opening. One by one they went inside, each of them taking off their costumes and stuffing them behind another portrait which had a secret compartment.

"Hello, ladies!" A deep voice greeted them. A whirl of colors moved through the air like a serpent of living paint, until it stopped and made itself into a mix-and-match creature with features of a mule and a serpent – Discord. A spirit with reality-warping powers who Twilight's group had befriended and reformed from his evil ways. They preferred he didn't join them on Power Pony missions to avoid giving hints about their identities. "Enjoy any good heroics last night?"

"Nothing much." Twilight answered, trotting past him. "We stopped the Mane-iac from doing her scheme, but we didn't catch her." Twilight jumped and halted when an arcade game appeared in front of her out of thin air.

"Don't worry!" The game said. "You'll get them next time!" It bleeped and blared victorious music like Twilight had won a game on it.

Twilight noticed the game was colored like Discord's fur and relaxed. She sighed. "Thank you, Discord. That's nice of you to say." She walked past him to the living room and threw herself onto the plush couch with a thump. She used her magic to pull out the television remote and turned the T.V on. It was set to a news channel, showing a police report on the crime scene the Power Ponies had left last night.

"In conclusion, we have the Power Ponies to thank for stopping yet another of the Mane-iac's schemes before the police were even aware of it." The officer on the screen said." However, we would have appreciated if they could left less collateral damage in their wake." The officer pointed to the factory's machines, which Pinkie Pie had sabotaged.

Pinkie Pie blushed and shirked as the others gave her disapproving glares.

"Why do we even have police?" Rainbow Dash shrugged as the officer continued to espouse praise for their heroics. "I mean, we're stronger, better, faster ..."

"The police do a good job with normal criminals, Rainbow Dash." Twilight said, sipping a teacup she had acquired. "The Mane-iac and her friends aren't normal criminals, though, so they need special teams like us. On top of that, if we didn't have the police, we'd have to go out all the time to deal with regular criminals who do things like steal watches. Do you really want to have to bother with small time petty crooks like that?"

"I guess not ..."

"It's mutually beneficial, darling." Rarity said as she opened the fridge and looked inside. "We make their jobs easier by dealing with the powered brutes, they make our jobs by making it so we don't have to deal with the petty thugs … hmm. We're out of milk, darlings. We need to go to the store."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Rarity, we're not going to the store just because we're out of _one thing_."

Rainbow Dash flew into the kitchen and came back through with an empty soda bottle. "We're also out of soda."

"Fine! Two things. Still not worth a trip to the store."

The rest of the girls went into the kitchen and spread out, searching for anything else they might have needed.

"And oranges." Applejack added.

"And sugar!" Pinkie Pie held up an empty bag for the sugar.

"And animal feed for Angel." Fluttershy said.

"You know, darling, I have made back a large investment with my dresses." Rarity tapped her chin. "It would be nice to go and spend a little cash on a few indulgences ..."

Twilight sighed and put a hoof over her forehead, the way exhausted mothers do. "Fine. We'll go to the store."

"Yes!" Rarity clapped and ran about the room like she was Fili-Second instead of Pinkie Pie. "Oh, it's been awhile since the last time I allowed myself to spend away like the rich mare I am at heart!"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Uh-huh … that's nice."

* * *

><p>So, Twilight's group did go to one of the most danger-wrought places in the entire city of Maretropolis: THE GROCERY STORE! Danger and fear was around every corner, as the store was full of awful, awful things … things like …<p>

Somepony bumping into them at the register!

Somepony bumping into them in the aisle!

INDECISION as they tried – no, not tried, STRUGGLED with what brand they wanted to buy! Oh, the calamity! The indignity of it all!

"I'll head straight to the fashion aisle." Rarity said. "I simply must let my fellow fashion designers know I still approve of their work!" She sped off down the aisles.

"Oh, good." Twilight dryly mumbled. "Anyways, I'll go down the paper aisle and see if there's anything we need. Applejack, you're on produce." Applejack saluted and hurried off.

"I'll get the animal feed." Fluttershy flew away.

"Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, you're on soaps and shampoos." Twilight said. "Rarity complained about being low on her "special moisturizing agent," so make sure you get that."

"Can do, boss." Rainbow Dash answered, strutting towards the aisle with Pinkie Pie.

"Come on, Pinkie Pie." Dash gestured as they walked down the bath supplies. "We need to stop to get me some deodorant. Fluttershy's been complaining about me stinking up the bunk beds."

"Okay!" Pinkie Pie bounced around, picking up deodorants and handing them to Rainbow Dash. "What about this one? Or maybe this is better? No, wait! I think this is on the best! Rainbow Dash? Wait, wait, maybe this one?"

"Pinkie Pie!" Rainbow Dash snapped, swatting the accumulated pile of deodorants from Pinkie's hooves. "Slow down! Let me look at them one at a time." Rainbow Dash picked up one bottle of deodorant and walked down the aisle with it as she examined it. As a result, she wasn't paying attention to where she was going and bumped into somepony, knocking them both down.

Rainbow Dash got up. "Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going and I … I … I-I-I-I-I ..."

Sitting on the floor, rubbing her head, was a light purple mare with cyan hair, a tail with split ends, and a purple neck-tie.

And she was the most beautiful mare Rainbow Dash had ever seen. The way she got up from the floor and tilted her head back played in slow motion like an over-dramatic shampoo commercial, allowing allowing Rainbow Dash to lap up every smooth motion of her hair as it flowed back and forth. The pony stopped and stared at Rainbow Dash.

"I-I-I-I ..."

The beautiful pony regarded Rainbow Dash and her stammering with curiosity, raising an eyebrow.

Pinkie Pie popped up next to Rainbow Dash, holding another bottle of deodorant in front of her face. "What about this one, Rainbow Dash?" Pinkie Pie noticed Dash's non-stop stuttering, then noticed the pony in front of her.

"Hi!" Pinkie Pie waved to her. "What's your name?"

"Tresemme." The pony answered. Her voice was soft, like the sweet chime of a gentle dinner bell.

"Oooh, that's a funny name! I'm Pinkie Pie, and this is Rainbow Dash! Say hello, Rainbow Dash."

"I-I-I-I-I ..."

"Hmm. That's funny." Pinkie Pie observed. She leaned over to Tresemme and whispered in a scratchy voice while pointing at Rainbow Dash's bouncing chin. "_She doesn't normally do that._"

"I see." Tresemme giggled – a sound Rainbow Dash thought sounded like Celestia's celestial kin had descended to grace the world with their presence.

"Your friend was just apologizing for bumping into me." Tresemme said to Pinkie. "At least, before her tongue fell out of her mouth."

_Come on, Rainbow Dash!_ Rainbow thought as she slapped herself to regain her senses. _Play it cool!_

"Rainbow Dash?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Uuuh … I have a friend who would like to meet you!" Dash blurted out. Inside the confines of her mind, Dash did a facehoof. _Shoot! You moron! You just blew your chances with her! Wait. Wait, I can still make this work._

"Oh, really?" Tresemme asked. "When?"

"Yeah, Rainbow Dash, when?" Pinkie asked, staring at Rainbow Dash with innocent eyes, oblivious to what was going on inside Rainbow Dash's head and heart. "Maybe tomorrow night?"

"Yes!" Rainbow Dash nodded. "No, no, wait, what about next week? What about next month?" Rainbow Dash's breathing became labored. "Next year? Next decade? NEXT CENTURY!"

Tresemme chuckled, amused by Rainbow Dash's verbal fumbling. She had a pretty good idea about what was causing Rainbow Dash to stutter, and what "friend" Rainbow Dash was referring. "I have a simple solution. How about **tonight?**"

"Tonight?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yes, tonight." Tresemme nodded. "I'm available tonight. I have a clear schedule. Does your … "friend" have time off tonight?"

Rainbow Dash shook her head hard. "Yeah, yeah, she does."

"YAY! It's tonight!" Pinkie Pie cheered.

"Well, I'll see your … _friend_ tonight. Say, at the restaurant just down the street from here?"

Rainbow Dash nodded again. Tresemme gave her a wink and walked past her.

"Oooh my goodness ..." Rainbow Dash groaned. She stumbled back and forth before collapsing into a shelf, knocking all of the bath products off it. She didn't feel she had been struck by an arrow from Cupid. She felt someone had emptied the whole quiver of arrows and stabbed her with every arrow from it, like a pincushion.

"Clean-up on aisle eight." An employee said over a P.A.

"So, who's friend of yours?" Pinkie Pie asked Rainbow Dash.

"What? No!" Rainbow Dash got up and grabbed Pinkie Pie by the cheeks. "Don't you get it, Pinkie? The friend is me!"

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Well, that doesn't make any sense. How can you be your own friend? Oh wait, maybe it makes PERFECT SENSE! OH MY GOSH! Rainbow Dash, you're going to revolution the field of friendship-ology!"

Rainbow Dash sighed at Pinkie and her antics. "No, Pinkie Pie, I mean that the friend who shows up for the date is going to be me. Do you follow?"

Pinkie Pie gave Rainbow Dash a big, wide grin. "Absolutely …. not! Nope! Not at all. Not a single thing."

* * *

><p>"Okay, wait, so run this by me again?" Pinkie Pie asked as Rarity applied make-up to Rainbow Dash's face.<p>

"Rainbow Dash is too shy and insecure of herself to go an actual date with Tresemme face-to-face." Rarity explained as she Rainbow's eyes with eyeliner. "So she made up a story about a friend wanting to meet Tresemme. But the friend will be Rainbow Dash in disguise, so she can face Tresemme with the security a fake identity affords her." Rarity said. "Not that I approve."

"Oh, okay. NOW I get it. Isn't that dishonest, though?"

"Extremely." Rarity answered, applying more blush to Rainbow's cheeks.

"Rarity, if you disapprove of what Rainbow Dash is doing so much, why are you helping her?" Twilight asked – a reasonable question.

"Well, just because I don't approve of the occasion doesn't mean I'm going to pass up the chance to show off my make-up skills." Rarity said as she brushed up Rainbow Dash's hair.

"You don't understand, guys." Rainbow Dash said. "She's beautiful, so I have to get this perfect to get her to like me. If I went as myself, I'd only one chance. If I messed up, then my chances are gone. But if I show up as somepony else … that gives me an extra chance. You know, like an extra life in a video game."

"Are y'all shore she wouldn't accept y'all for ya are, faults and all?" Applejack asked. "The way you and Pinkie put it, she shore sounds like a nice gal."

"Yeah." Dash made a dreamy exhale of breath. "Nice and pretty. Prettier than you, Rarity."

Rarity huffed. "Well, excuse me! You DO want my help on this, don't you?"

"Prettier than Celestia, even." Rainbow Dash continued.

Discord decided to muscle in on the conversation. He flew over Rainbow Dash's head. "Prettier than moi?"

"Yeah ..."

Discord scratched at his beard. "Pretty enough to rock my – if I may so, impeccably well-groomed – goatee?"

"Absolutely." Rainbow Dash said with her eyelids fluttering. It was clear she wasn't paying attention to whatever Discord was saying.

Discord laughed and slapped his knee. "Ooooh! Oh – ho! Oh … she's got you falling hard, doesn't she?" Discord reached over his back and pulled out an arrow with a heart-shaped tip. He poked the blunt weapon onto Rainbow Dash's head until Fluttershy got on to him and scolded him for it.

"Discord! Stop that! That is not nice!"

"Yeesh, okay, teacher." Discord made the arrow disappear in a puff of smoke and floated away.

"Besides," Rainbow Dash said as Rarity went to work on her wings. "This way, she'll get extra protection from our enemies. A secret identity within the secret identity!"

"But managing a double life is hard enough, Rainbow Dash. How are you going to manage a triple life?" Twilight asked.

"Relax." Rainbow Dash dismissed Twilight's worries with her usual arrogance. "I can handle it."

"Okay ..." Twilight shrunk into the couch, her worries far less than calmed. "If you're sure that's what you want do to do."

"It is. Are we done, Rarity? Thanks! I owe you." Rainbow Dash headed for the door. "I'd say "wish me luck," but I don't need it. Don't wait up."

* * *

><p>Rainbow Dash made her way to the store and the restaurant down the street from it, as Tresemme had said. It was a pretty swanky-looking establishment, with pink and gold and black all over it. There was a line out the door, so Rainbow Dash expected she needed a reservation to get in.<p>

Wait. She didn't make a reservation. Darn it all! There goes her plans right down the drain. Or so she thought, until she saw a light-purple hoof in the line waving her over. Spellbound by the thought of seeing Tresemme again, she flew over the line, not even bothering to excuse herself to the waiting patrons she was being disrespectful to with her fly-over.

"Hey." Tresemme greeted. "You must be Rainbow Dash's friend."

"Yup!" Rainbow Dash nodded. "That's me. I'm, uh ..." Rainbow Dash pulled a random name from her memory, having a vague recollection of a Wonderbolt who used the name. "Firefly."

"Firefly. I'm Tresemme. I'll be honest, I thought the friend Rainbow Dash mentioned was just going to be herself in a costume."

Rainbow Dash laughed. Tresemme was much too close to the truth, but she seemed to be fooled by the disguise – Rarity had dressed up Rainbow Dash up with a thick, leather coat, body paint which made her appear to be a much lighter shade of blue, and an orange and yellow slicked-back mane. The end result was – or was at least intended to be - a "punk" look.

"Hahahaha, yeeeaaaah. That would be silly, wouldn't it?" Rainbow Dash said.

"Shall we go inside?" Tresemme said. "I had the waiters hold my place at the table." Tresemme moved to the door and gestured her head at it. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to open the door for me?" Tresemme asked. "It's customary for the stallion of the hour to open the door for his date."

_Oh man!_ Rainbow Dash thought. _She called me "the stallion of the hour!"_ This might not seem like much, but it meant a lot. It meant Tresemme was recognizing her as the male presence and not just the male presence, but the **authoritative** male presence. The yang to Tresemme's yin. Which meant Tresemme was _respecting_ her. And for Rainbow Dash, an ego-boost like that meant all the money in the world.

"Of course, my lady." Rainbow Dash moved and opened the door for her. Tresemme trotted inside, "Firefly" following her in and closing the door behind her.

Tresemme led Rainbow Dash to a table which already had one drink and two menus set out. "I didn't order a drink for you because I didn't know what you might like." Tresemme said, which made Rainbow Dash smile. She was so considerate.

"Thanks, but I'm sure whatever you ordered would have been fine." Rainbow Dash, or rather, Firefly said, trying to lay on the charm.

Tresemme giggled. Oh, that sound. That wondrous, sweet sound of her laughter! What Rainbow Dash wouldn't give to have the sound recorded and immortalized for her pleasure.

"Waiter!" Tresemme hailed. A garcon was at the ready, speeding towards their table. Tresemme ordered a salad.

Firefly was too enamored with watching Tresemme's luscious lips move to realize the waiter was trying to get her attention.

"Firefly?" Tresmme asked. "The waiter is trying to take your order."

"Oh." Firefly said. "Um, I'll have whatever she's having, food and drink." She handed the waiter the menu.

Tresemme raised an eyebrow. "Firefly, are you sure you'll like the salad I ordered?"

"Yeah." Firefly said, admiring Tresemme. "I trust you have good taste."

Tresemme laughed again. "You're such a charmer."

"Yeah ..."

"What do you do, Firefly?"

"Yeah ..." Wait, no, that was a question! Answer it answer it answer it …

"Um … what do you do?"

"Oh. I am a hair product salespony."

"Really?" The waiter returned with Firefly's drink. Firefly took it without even paying attention to him. "That's interesting."

"Oh, you think so?" Tresemme cooed. "Not a lot of ponies would find hair care all that interesting."

"Oh, well, yeah!" Firefly went on. She pulled on her own mane to show her support. "I mean, who doesn't love hair, right? We all have hair!"

Tresemme squealed, fiddling her front hooves. Firefly made a mental note about how adorable she was when she was excited. "It's so nice to have like-minded company! Not a lot of ponies understand the passion, the culture that involves hair. But as nice as that is, you still haven't answered my question. What do you do?"

"Me? Oh, I'm a ..." Firefly's first instinct was to say "weatherpony," as Rainbow Dash was a weatherpony. She couldn't tell Tresemme Firefly was also a weatherpony. Weatherpony was a common job for pegasi, so both Firefly and Rainbow Dash working at the same job wouldn't be suspicious by itself. But if Tresemme visited the facility where Rainbow Dash worked, hoping to find Firefly, she would catch on to the fact Rainbow Dash and Firefly were never there at the same time (since they were the same person).

"I'm, uh, super into … motorcycles."

"Oh, a grease monkey, eh?" Tresemme leaned her hooves on the table as the waiter brought their salads.

"Yeah." Firefly nodded. She made a note Rainbow Dash would have to find a way to study motorcycles. "Love the sound of a good engine running! Can't get enough of it."

"Like you can't get enough of me?" Tresemme fluttered her eyelids.

Firefly stammered, even as she felt an arousal heat up inside her from Tresemme's suggestive eyes. "I – I don't know what you mean."

"Oh, Firefly, you don't have to hide it. You haven't taken your eyes off me all night." Tresemme picked up her fork. "We should eat before our food gets cold."

Firefly, eager to move on from the embarrassing (but true) part of the conversation, swept her silver and began shoving bites of salad into her mouth. Tresemme giggled, eating her own salad at a much more reasonable pace.

They finished the salads. Firefly rubbed her chin.

"What are you thinking about, Firefly?"

"Thinking about getting a slice of cake. I remember reading they had them on the menu."

"Hmm, are you sure?" Tresemme asked.

"Well, yeah. I keep track of my calories." Rainbow Dash was an athlete, and meant making sure her body was in good shape. "I can afford a little treat. Why? What's wrong with that?"

Tresemme gave her a smirk. "Oh, nothing. I just thought you might want a parfait … for us to _share_." The way she said "share" sent tingles up Firefly's spine. So they got a parfait and finished before leaving. They trotted to just outside the restaurant before Tresemme turned and stopped.

"I can get home by myself." Tresemme said. "But I had fun with you tonight, Firefly. Can I see you again sometime?"

Firefly nodded. "Yeah! Just give me a call and we can work something out."

"Excellent. I look forward to it."

"Yeah, me too."

"Hmm." Tresemme tilted her head and smiled. She leaned forward and gave Firefly a smooch on the cheek before turning and walking down the street.

Rainbow Dash stood there for a few minutes as she attempted to process the surge of emotions inside her from Tresemme kissing on the first date. It was as though somepony had fed her an active firework, the burning fuse traveling down to her stomach with its burning spark.

"YAHOO!" Rainbow Dash yelled, drawing the attention of passing citizens. She descended to the top of a building and laid down on her back.

Rainbow Dash began making a mental checklist. Go on first date with Tresemme? Check. Have the date go off without a hitch? Check. Get a kiss from Tresemme? Check.

Rainbow Dash exhaled into the night air. Her plan had worked and she was going to see Tresemme again. See, Rarity? There was nothing to worry about. Everything had gone fine.

Surely, there was no way stringing Tresemme along and leading a triple life as not just two, but three different ponies could possibly go horribly, horribly wrong.

Right?

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes for "Arrows of Love!"<strong>

**So, with that, I'd like to formally welcome you readers to _Mind Over Mane-Iac_,an AU romance-smut fic involving Rainbow Dash, Zapp, the Power Ponies, and a lot of hair. This story was an idea by Fimfiction User DarknessRising (he has a different name on Fanfiction, but I forgot what it is) which I was willingly to take up after he Favorited my story, _Unto This White Poison, _(which also involved tentacles).**

**I did my best to try to make it read like a comic book from the 80's at the beginning, but as the chapter went on, I toned it down because I wasn't sure how to CHEESY DRAMATIC NARRATION in a scene as low-key as the Power Ponies realizing they needed to go the grocery store.**

**In keeping with the comic theme, I will be calling the chapters "issues" and giving little comic-book style solicit boxes at the start of each chapter. I also used bolding in some cases where I might have used italics, and bolded the first word of the actual chapter.  
><strong>

**I also tried to make the scene where Rainbow Dash first meets Tresemme in the store homage the scene in the Powerpuff Girls episode, "Mommy Fearest" where the Professor first meets Ima Goodlady. Who was actually Sedusa. Who, as we know, had something to do with the creation of the Mane-iac, hmm?**

**Anyways, see you next time! Probably more than two weeks from now, as that's when another My Little Pony annual is due to be released which features the Mane-iac, the Power Ponies, and other villains from the Power Pony universe. I intend to use said other villains in this story.**


	2. Issue 2: Zapp's Sensitive Secret!

**Note: This story is the work of Darkryt Orbinautz.**

**A My Little Pony Fanfiction**

**Mind Over Mane-Iac**

**Issue 2 In A Seven-Issue Mini-series!**

**Zapp's Sensitive Secret.**

_SCANDAL! Rainbow Dash has never, ever liked ponies touching her hooves … but is there secretly a reason for that? While Dash struggles with Tresemme learning her embarrassing secret, the Mane-Iac's henchmen launch an attack!_

* * *

><p><strong>RAINBOW DASH<strong> remained on the building for a while, relishing in the victorious outcome of her date with the pony she knew was Destiny's chosen soul mate for her. After letting out what must have been her 57th self-satisfied sigh, Rainbow Dash decided it was best she work on getting home now.

Descending with the grace and majesty of an immobile boulder, Rainbow Dash touched her hooves to the ground. The entire time, she was overcome with her infatuation with Tresmme. Her hooves on a drunken stagger, her path swaying left and right on the street, and more than once she let out a giggle akin to a schoolfilly who had just said something which left her male peers confused and astounded. She felt as though someone had sucked up a flock of butterflies in a vacuum, then stuck the hose in her mouth and reversed the direction, filling her stomach up with the beautiful insects.

Once she arrived at the mansion, Rainbow Dash staggered until she could collapse into the safe, warm grasp of the Couch of Comforting Rest and Relaxation. She let out another sigh, murmuring "Tresemme ..." before resting her head on the back of the couch and closing her eyes. Her leisure within the plush confines of the velvety couch was interrupted by the appearance of Pinkie Pie's shadow over her face, followed by the rest of her fellows.

"SO HOW'D IT GO!?" Pinkie Pie screamed into Rainbow Dash's face with such volume Rainbow's manes blew backwards. Rainbow Dash shook her head to regain control of her mane while Rarity was kind enough to move the living stereo system known as Pinkie Pie away from the beleaguered Rainbow Dash.

"Pinkie Pie, darling, Rainbow Dash obviously wishes to rest after having been out most of the night." Rarity told her, pushing Pinkie Pie aside, only to replace Pinkie's enthusiasm with her own, dispensing questions to Rainbow as if they were bullets form a revolver. "But do answer the question, darling. How was the date? Was it good? Fantastic? Romantic?"

"Did Tresemme figure out you were Rainbow Dash?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Did y'all blow it?" Applejack teased.

"For your information, Applejack, I did not blow it." Rainbow Dash told them, quite confident. "And no, Pinkie Pie, she didn't figure out I was Rainbow Dash. As for your question, Rarity, yes, it was romantic."

"Magical, even?"

"Magical even."

Rarity nodded, satisfied.

"She came kinda close, though." Rainbow Dash added as an afterthought. "To figuring it out I was me." Rainbow Dash slapped her forehead. "I mean, close to figuring out Firefly was Rainbow Dash."

At the mention of this, the warm greetings and jovial teasing Rainbow Dash had been greeted with upon her return disappeared. In their place were concerned frowns, disapproving lips bites, and glares from one pony to another.

"Guys?" Rainbow Dash noticed the change in the mood. "What's up?"

"Rainbow Dash, are you sure you shouldn't tell her?" Twilight asked. "A relationship built on lies … it's not a strong foundation. Once the lies have been exposed, the whole structure tends to collapse."

"Yes, darling." Rarity said. "There's still time to reveal your true self."

"Now why would I want to do that?" Rainbow Dash questioned, resting her head on her hooves.

"Because, darling … imagine if you – or should I say, Firefly – develop a healthy, long-lasting relationship with Tresemme. Say you go steady and get together for years to come. We'll be at a party, a shindig, a hoedown or what have you … some punch will loosen our tongues, and one of us will let slip to Tresemme the pony she's been loving for all those years has been lying to her. Do you realize the impact that has on a relationship? Tresmme will confront you about it, you'll shrug it off with her, as you have with us, and she'll never be able to trust you again. It will cut a deep scar into her that may never heal. She may still love you, but she'll never be able to trust you."

Rarity paused to let the full impact of her words sink in. Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin, mulling it over.

"But if you reveal yourself now, while you're both young and beautiful and impetuous, she'll forgive you. You can both laugh it off as a silly joke. That scar of mistrust will instead be a tiny scrape of amusement which will go away and you'll only talk about it again when you're trying to amuse your guests at dinner parties. So please, Rainbow Dash. Think about the consequences to keep lying to somepony you love. Imagine if Fluttershy came and told you she wasn't a different pony than the one we've come to know and love over all these years! Imagine if I told I was different pony than the one you know me as!"

Rainbow Dash nodded, appearing to take in the full meaning of Rarity's words and the invisible, immeasurable weight they carried. She nodded to show she understood.

"So you'll tell her?" Twilight asked with a note of hope in her voice.

"Not yet." Rainbow Dash answered, producing a round of groans from everypony in the room. "I still don't … gosh, I am just so head over hooves for this girl. I want to know her better before I do anything risky."

"Oh, so dating her under a false identity ISN'T risky?" Twilight asked, pointing her hoof.

Rainbow Dash rubbed her forehead. "You don't get it, Twilight. What if … what if she doesn't like me? What if I'm not good enough for her? What if she doesn't like the real me and breaks my heart?" To show her point, Rainbow Dash crossed her legs over her heart with a ginger care.

"So what if she doesn't like the real you?" Twilight responded.

"Sugarcube, if she doesn't like the real you, well … she's sure missing out on somepony special." Applejack said. "Believe me when Ah say, Rainbow Dash, if you're not good enough for her, well then … she's not good enough for us."

"We'll always love you and we don't care what she thinks." Fluttershy said.

"Aww ..." Rainbow Dash cooed, a little overwhelmed with her friends' praises. "Thanks, guys!"

"GROUP HUG!" Pinkie Pie shouted. The others complied, engaging in Rainbow Dash in a fuzzy, affectionate display of affection.

"So, will you tell her?" Twilight asked again.

Rainbow Dash's lip quivered, but she remained firm on her stance. "No. Not yet. I'm … I'm still too scared, guys."

The hug separated and everypony nodded, content with Rainbow Dash's answer. As superheroes, they knew better than most how powerful a motive fear was.

"Oh, last thing, Twilight." Rainbow said. "You're a tech geek. Think you can help me learn about motorcycles?"

Twilight grimaced, not sure she wanted to give Rainbow Dash more tools to support the deception. "I'll … see what I can do."

"Awesome. Thanks."

They exchanged good nights and headed off to their separate rooms to sleep.

* * *

><p>Waking up the next morning, Rainbow Dash went to brush her mane and teeth, as any hygienic pony would do. She thought something was odd about the bathroom when she first entered it, but didn't let it bug her again until after she had gargled and rinse.<p>

She realized what was odd.

There wasn't a line for miles because Rarity wasn't hogging it for her vanity issues.

"Hey." Rainbow called into the hallway. "Where's Rarity?"

"Hmm? Oh, I don't know. She said she was going out."

"Okay." Rainbow Dash went back to focusing on her morning agenda. Her second-favorite part of the day – breakfast. First place went to her favorite afternoon activity – napping in trees or clouds, sometimes to the consternation of Applejack or her fellow weatherponies at the weather factory.

Setting herself up a bowl of cereal, Rainbow Dash enjoyed it until she felt a presence loom over her. A menacing, ominous presence, full of trickery and deceit and ... hamminess.

Rainbow Dash threw her spoon into the bowl in frustration."What do you want, Discord?"

"Oh, relax, Rainbow Dash. I'm not here to do anything chaotic or disharmonious. I come bringing a message."

"A message?" Rainbow Dash raised her brow, somewhat incredulous.

"Yes, it should be arriving in about three … two … one!" Discord curled through the air and stretch himself out next to Rainbow Dash. The wing on his back begin ringing as if it were a phone. Rainbow Dash responded with a blank stare.

"Go on." Discord encouraged. "Answer it."

Not quite trusting of his motives, but knowing he wouldn't leave her alone until she played into his warped sense of humor at least a little bit, Rainbow Dash grabbed his wing. Lifting it up, it curled into the shape of an old rotary telephone. The springy cord customary of phones of the time extended from Discord's back.

Rainbow Dash put the phone to her ear. "Hello? Who is this?"

"_It's Tresemme._"

Rainbow Dash froze up, her heart skipping a beat and the blood draining from her cheeks. "O-oh! Tresemme! I didn't expect you would call back so … so **soon**."

"_Well, I had fun last night_!" Tresemme said. "_I was wondering if you were available today?_"

"Yes, I'm available." Rainbow Dash spat out of her mouth with a _forceful velocity! _So eager she was to lay eyes upon Tresemme again.

"_Great! I'll see you soon, then? Maybe in an hour or so?_"

"Yeah, an hour sounds good. Where do you want to meet?"

"_I was thinking by the spa._"

"Done and done!" Rainbow Dash sped off, leaving Discord's wing-phone twirling in the air. Tresemme's confused voice could be heard asking if Rainbow Dash was okay. Discord got up and snatched the whirling phone out of the air.

"Hmph. The least you could have done is hang up." Discord mumbled, plugging the phone into his back and having it resume its normal form.

"Rarity – where's Rarity?" Rainbow Dash muttered. "Argh, she's out! Okay … Okay ..." Rainbow Dash passed Fluttershy in the hallway, heading for the make-up cabinet.

"Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy asked. "What are you doing?"

"Tresemme called and said she wanted to meet by the spa so now I need to get in my Firefly make-up pronto without Rarity's help!" Rainbow Dash explained as she raided the cabinets, pulling out the face paint, hair dye and brushes.

"Or … you know, you could just be honest with her." Fluttershy muttered.

"You say something, Fluttershy?"

"Oh, no … nothing." Fluttershy shook her head, backing out of the room to leave Rainbow Dash to her sham.

* * *

><p>Having made a successful effort to recreate the Firefly appearance without Rarity's help, Rainbow Dash – er, Firefly cut a path through the streets to meet the pony who had done more than steal her heart. She not only stole it, she locked in a safe and threw away the key.<p>

"Tresemme!" Firefly greeted, running up to Tresemme at the entrance of the spa.

"Firefly, you came!" Tresemme expressed her glee by giving Firefly a hug. Firefly's eyes turned into beating hearts.

"Well, yeah." Firefly said. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You just seemed so masculine I didn't think you would like going to the spa." Tresemme said.

"Oh, yeah, sure. I LOVE going to the spa – wait, did you say going TO the spa?" Firefly asked. "As in, going inside and getting pedicures and manicures and all that other girly stuff?"

Tresemme nodded. "Yes. That's not going to be a problem, is it?"

"Er, see … the thing is, when you said you wanted to meet BY the spa, I didn't realize you meant you want to go IN it with me!" Firefly explained. "I'm not into that girly stuff."

"Oh?" Tresemme asked. She walked around Firefly, putting her hooves on Firefly's back and stroking her. "The whole masculine act is nice, Firefly, but can't you let your guard down for once and show a softer side?"

Firefly was reduced to purring as if she were Rarity's spoiled cat Opalescence instead of a pony. "Okay. Okay." Tresemme took her hooves off Firefly's back, flashing her a brief, beautiful smile which almost made Rainbow Dash's heart give out.

"Let's go inside." To demonstrate her willingness to the idea, Firefly put a hoof on Tresemme's shoulder. UNKNOWN TO TRESEMME, however, was Rainbow Dash's dread of the spa. To her, it epitomized everything girly and "uncool" and … there was another reason Rainbow Dash disliked going to the spa. A reason she hoped Tresemme and everypony in the world would never, ever find out. It was a deep, dark secret. The kind of secret which can **wreck** a pony's reputation and follow them forever as a perpetual mark of **shame**.

"'ello." The accented spa pony greeted them. "Ah, Tresemme! So good to see one of our best customers again. I see you 'ave brought a friend this time."

"Yes, Aloe. This is Firefly." Tresemme introduced her. "Firefly, say hello to Aloe."

"We've met." Firefly mumbled, rolling her eyes.

"Have we?" Aloe asked as she picked up a menu for them. "I don't remember you."

Firefly realized her mistake and grimaced. Firefly hadn't met Aloe before. Rainbow Dash had met Aloe before. She struggled to come up with a believable and quick lie. "Er, it was a long time ago."

Aloe nodded. "What will you and Tresemme be having today, madam?"

"Eh ..."

"A simple mani-pedi and rejuvenating mask combo will do, Aloe. Thank you."

Aloe nodded. "Right this way, ladies." Aloe guided them to the back, presenting them with reclining chairs to rest on. Firefly thought she recognized the mare setting on the next chair over from Tresemme, but she didn't say anything about it.

"So what do you have against the spa?" Tresemme asked Firefly.

"Nothing." Firefly said. "It's just not my thing, you know?"

"Hmm?" The pony sitting next to them asked. She lifted a cucumber up from her eye, showing a diamond pupil Firefly recognized as belonging to Rarity's.

Oh no. Firefly thought as her pupils turned to pinpricks.

"My, my." Rarity said, rising from her recliner. "Isn't this an interesting development?"

Tresemme looked at Rarity, confused about what she was talking about. "I'm sorry?"

"Rarity." Rarity offered her hoof. "I'm a friend of Firefly's."

"Ah." Tresemme shook the offered hoof with good nature. "And Rainbow Dash too, I take it?"

Rarity chuckled, glancing over Tresemme's shoulder at Rainbow Dash. "Yes. And Rainbow Dash too. Are you two getting along?"

"Oh yes. Just today, I was able to drag her in here even though she didn't want to." Tresemme said.

"That's nice." Rarity said, leering at Rainbow Dash with the unwelcome gaze of a predatory feline, toying with and tormenting its prey before devouring it. Rainbow Dash put her hooves together and scrunched up her face, a DESPERATE, silent plea for Rarity to keep quiet on the matter she knew Rarity wanted to talk about. She shook her head no. Rarity nodded yes, confusing Tresemme, who was locked out of the loop.

Tresemme looked over her shoulder at Firefly, who used her lightning-fast reflexes to hide the fact she was begging a moment ago. Tresemme ignored the oddity and moved on.

"So, are you and Firefly good friends?"

"Oh, yes." Rarity said. "Rainbow Dash introduced me to her just recently, in fact!" The high notes in Rarity's voice was an indicator of how much she was enjoying Firefly squirm and sweat.

Tresemme nodded. "You know, when Rainbow Dash first met me at the store and talked about meeting a friend of her's, I really thought she just meant herself in disguise." Tresemme and Rarity shared a good, healthy laugh though for different reasons.

"Oh, yes." Rarity growled, letting Rainbow Dash see the mischievous glint in her eye. "Wouldn't that be something?"

"Ah-ah! Yes, it would." Do you come to the spa often?"

"Plenty. In fact, Aloe tells me I'm one of their best customers."

"Oh, I bet she says that to everyone. She also tells me I'm on her best customers. You'd think we'd have bumped into each other before now."

Rarity laughed. "Perhaps we should form a club."

Tresemme laughed. "Oh, goodness! I just realized I've been asking you so many questions, you can't get a word in edgewise! Please, ask me a few things."

"Oh, no, I couldn't." Rarity said. "But if you insist. Do me a favor first, would you? Ask Firefly if she's got a secret she might like to tell you." Rarity was smiling as if she was a super villain, tapping her hooves together, enjoying the predicament Rainbow Dash was now in. She'd need to choose her words with extreme carefulness if she didn't want to reveal her secret to Tresemme.

"Okay." Tresemme said. "Firefly, do you have a secret?"

"Uh, yeah." Firefly said. "It's … not really something I want to share. You understand, right?"

Rarity pumped her hoof, still wearing her villainous smirk. Any moment now would be the "ah-ha" moment and Rainbow Dash would stand exposed and they'd could end this silly charade while there was still a chance of leaving Rainbow Dash's chances of a serious relationship with Tresemme intact.

"I do." Tresemme nodded. She placed a hoof on her chest. "I have a few secrets of my own I wouldn't want to share with anypony. Some things just aren't meant to be shared, you know?"

Rarity's jaw dropped as the possibility of the moment of truth slipped away, as if it was a snake made to slither on ice.

"Yeah." Firefly nodded, paying back Rarity with a maligned smirk of her own. "Some things you just gotta keep quiet until it's time, you know? And nopony can make you rush it."

"I don't know about that." Tresemme said. "I don't think I would want to share my secrets … ever."

"Eh." Firefly shrugged. "There are some things you let others know, some things you don't, I guess." She relaxed a little, having escaped the worst of Rarity's attempts at sabotage. She tensed up again when she saw the masseuse approach the two of them.

"What's wrong, Firefly?" Tresemme asked.

"Okay." Firefly said. "I'll share a secret with you right now. I don't like ponies touching my hooves."

Rarity scoffed. "It's not that bad, is it, darling?"

"Now, now, Rarity." Tresemme said, waving her hoof. "We should all be allowed our own quirks. To each her own. But … it would mean ever so much to me if you would at least give it a try, Firefly." Tresemme put her hooves together, working the charm. She batted her eyelids at Firefly, which was persuasive enough to her.

"Yeah, okay." Firefly gulped. She let down her hind legs for the masseuse to rub. "Have at it ..."

The masseuses went about their routine. Firefly did her best to stomach the experience. It wasn't as bad as she was expecting, but she was still moving her hooves away from the touch of the masseuse. It never got to the point where the masseuse couldn't do their job, though, they just had to readjust. Tresemme took particular interest in Firefly's face during the ordeal. She was blushing, a thick line of red on her otherwise blue cheeks.

"Okay … not as bad as I thought it would be." Firefly said after they were done. The three of them got out from their chairs together and waved goodbye to Aloe as they left.

"Tresmme, could I talk to Rarity alone for a sec?" Firefly asked. Tresemme nodded and left them. Rainbow Dash turned to Rarity and let out her pent-up anger with her.

"Rarity, what was with you back there? I TOLD you I wasn't ready to tell her yet!"

"I'm sorry, did I not make my point clear last night?" Rarity asked. "Forgive me for trying to force a light nick where there could easily be a deep scar. Although I admit I perhaps may have gotten carried away ..."

"You can take your forcing and keep it, because I don't need it." Rainbow Dash snarled.

Rarity huffed. "Well, pardon for me for trying to be a good friend to you and a good pony to Tresemme. But if you want yourselves to go through the kind of heartbreak and loss of trust which goes with a relationship built on lies, who am I to try to stop you?" Rarity turned and trotted off, leaving Rainbow Dash to lick the wounds her words would inflict.

"Everything okay?" Tresemme asked, re-approaching them. "I saw Rarity get kind of huffy."

"She's always kind of huffy." Firefly remarked. "C'mon. Is there anything else you want to do?"

"Actually, yes." Tresemme said. "I know this is a bit forward, but do you want to go to my place?"

This aroused Firefly's intrigue.

"Yes." Firefly said with a smile. "Yes, I would."

"Great." Tresemme grabbed Firefly's hoof and steered down the street and around a few corners until they arrived at a tan apartment building. Tresemme steered Rainbow Dash inside through a red door.

"It's not much." Tresemme said, as the inside of the building was messy and unfurnished. "But it's home. Sorry for the mess. I haven't really thought about cleaning it lately ..."

"Yeah." Firefly nodded, admiring the untidiness of the place. "I kinda like it, actually. It's cute." A stray candy wrapper there, an out of place utility there … it was quite like Rainbow Dash's room back at the mansion. It was cluttered, but without being a health hazard. It almost made her feel at home. Minus the part where Tresemme tackled her from behind and pinned her to the bed.

"Tresemme? What are you doing?" Firefly asked, going into a panic. What if Tresemme had some sort of dark secret? What if she was a criminal or something?

"Relax." Tresemme said in her soothing, bell-like voice. She rolled Firefly over onto the back, nestling herself on top of her. "I'm just being forward." She moved her head around until she reached Firefly's hind hoof.

"W-what are you doing?" Firefly asked. "Isn't not until after the third date we get to start with the foreplay?"

"Ah, but life is so short, Firefly." Tresemme said. She raised her hooves in the air. "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, isn't it? Besides, I couldn't help myself after seeing how cute and bashful you were at the spa."

"Eh, come again?"

"I know your secret, Firefly." Tresemme said, sliding down Firefly's body.

Rainbow Dash's heartbeat quickened, though not for the right reasons. "You do?"

"Yes." Tresemme grabbed Rainbow Dash's hoof. "You don't like having your hooves touched … because deep down, you actually like having your hooves touched. And you think that's embarrassing, so you keep it a secret. But you can't fool me."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Firefly fibbed. She should have been relaxed because Tresemme didn't know the big secret, the secret of her identity, but in Rainbow Dash's opinion, Tresemme discovering her secret kink for having her hooves touched was not much better.

"You don't have to hide it. I saw the blush on your face in the spa." Tresemme said.

"I-I still don't know what you're talking about ..."

Tresemme attempted to put the lie to Firefly's words, and her method of accomplishing such a feat was to stick out her tongue and drag it along the circumference of Firefly's hoof. Firefly bit her lip, attempting to suppress the feeling of pleasure it gave her.

"Let go." Tresemme encouraged her. "There's nopony here. It's just us. Anything that happens in here tonight will never leave these walls."

Firefly continued to dig her teeth into her lip. "You promise?"

"I promise."

A silence followed, as Firefly got a good look at Tresemme's face to gauge how honest Tresemme was being in her promise. Seeing Tresemme's comforting smile, while also remembering she was operating under a false identity, Firefly decided to let go to enjoy her kink. For once, without feeling ashamed of it.

"Lick my hoof again, Tresemme."

"As you command, Master." Tresemme gave a long, slow slurp.

"Master?" Firefly questioned as her wings rose up. "Wow, Tresemme. You sure how know how to get a mare's motor running ..."

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile at the Power Ponies' mansion …<em>

Rarity stepped into living room, slamming the shut door behind her.

"Hey." Twilight said, loafing around on the couch. "Rainbow Dash was looking for you earlier."

"Well, she found me." Rarity spat as she went to the kitchen. She got into the fridge, levitating out a carton and pouring into a glass. "We bumped into each other at the spa with Tresemme. I tried to press her into revealing herself, but she managed to weasel her way out of it."

"Rarity, you know Rainbow Dash doesn't like it when you back her into a corner ..." Twilight said.

Rarity sighed. "Yes, I know, I know. I just – I just want for everything to turn out well for them. And that can't happen if Rainbow Dash keeps on lying the way she is ..." She took a sip from her glass. "Though perhaps I did come on too strong ..."

"I know." Twilight assured her. "I want them to be happy, too. But we shouldn't try to ambush Rainbow Dash like that. It won't get anypony anywhere and it'll just make her mad at us."

Rarity sighed. "You may be right, darling."

"I know I am." Twilight offered Rarity a small smile before her assistant Spike came running into the room, arms flailing around in a blind, sheer panic.

"Girls! Girls!" Spike shouted before noticing Rarity. He attempted to collect himself to seem cool to her. "Rarity." He said in a suave, husky voice. He bowed. "How may I serve you on this fine day?"

Rarity gave him a roll of her eyes in return.

"Spike, quit trying and failing to woo Rarity and tell us what's wrong!" Twilight snapped.

Spike scratched his head. "What's wrong?"

"Yes! You came in here screaming and waving your arms around! What's the problem?"

"Oh, yeah!" Spike snapped his fingers as he recollected what had distressed him. "I saw a bunch of mummies going down the street into the north district! I'm not sure, but it seemed like they were headed to the shampoo factory!"

"Mummies?" Rarity asked. "A shampoo factory?"

"Rarity, didn't the Mane-iac try to raid a shampoo factory the other night?" Twilight said. "And do mummies make you think of anything?"

"Why, yes, darling., it does." Rarity said, causing Twilight to smile. "How many shampoo factories ARE THERE in Maretropolis?"

Twilight facehooved. "No! I mean, those are probably Pharoah Phetlock's minions working with the Mane-iac to raid another factory! Round up the girls. It's time to Power Pony Up!"

Spike chuckled. "Ha-ha. Still a great catchphrase."

* * *

><p>Gathering up the rest of the team in their Power Pony identities, The Masked Matter-horn, Filli-Second, Mistress Mare-velous, Radiance, and Saddle Rager arrived to the scene of the crime in record speed, even without Zapp to ferry them on the back of a thundercloud.<p>

"Where in the hay is Zapp?" Mare-velous asked, displeased to see their friend slacking off when there was crime fighting to be done and roughnecks to rough up.

"Probably hanging off somewhere with Tresemme." Matter-horn said with a roll of her eyes. "Come on. We can't worry about that now." Directing the group to carry onward with their mission, Matter-horn directed them to hide by a nearby dumpster.

Ignoring Radiance's complaints about the smell of the trash, Matter-horn focused her gaze on the factory. Just as she suspected, they were the mummies Spike spoke of – the minions of the phony pharaoh known as the cunning and egotistical Pharaoh Phetlock!

"Well, that confirms it. Phetlock's minions are working for the Mane-iac." Matter-horn said. "But why, though?"

"And to what end?" Radiance asked as she used her power to create a clothespin and clamp it around her nose. Matter-horn noticed this and gave Radiance a disapproving look.

"What?" Radiance asked. "You don't honestly expect me to sit here next to this dumpster without some form of protection, do you?"

Matter-horn shook her head, deciding the issue wasn't worth making a mountain out of a molehill over. "Fili-Second, you go in first. Scout ahead and see what you can see."

Fili-Second saluted. "Can do, boss!" Pacing in place to warm herself up, Fili-Second launched off like a rocket shooting through the stars. The blurryl afterimage of pink and white which followed zoomed around the outdoor machinery of the building and sped past the mummy minions before disappearing.

"Something's wrong." Mare-velous said when Fili-Second didn't make an instantaneous return. "As fast as she is, she should have in and out like that. If she's not back by now, then ..."

"Oh, goodness!" Saddle Rager exclaimed. "You don't think she was captured, do you?"

"Maybe. Simple as they are, Ah wouldn't put it past Phetlock's goons to have a trap waiting fer her."

"Look! Here she come!" Radiance pointed as Fili-Second lumbered back to him, lacking her usual energy and walking at a lifeless, robotic pace.

"Fili-Second!" Radiance exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I guess." Fili-Second mumbled. Her eyes half-lidded and her hooves were dragging behind her. "Not that it matters anyway. We're all just dust in the end."

"What?" Radiance asked. "Pink- I mean, Fili-Second, this kind of talk is so unlike you! What's gotten into you?"

"Yeah!" Mare-velous. "We still need y'all to kick this minions backsides to the curb, so show us some of that super-energy you're famous for!"

"What's the point?" Fili-Second asked, collapsing to the ground. "We're never gonna beat them. And even if we did, we're all just specks of dust in the cosmos anyway."

"Wait a minute." Matter-horn placed a hoof on her chin. "Normally happy pony acting depressed … having existential angst about the universe … I've seen this condition before! It's -" The Masked Matter-horn was prevented from completing her sentence, as in the moment, she had to duck to avoid being sliced in two by a flung razor-sharp shoe which embedded itself in the wall behind her.

"Ah, Power Ponies!" A classy voice greeted them as the Power Ponies' eyes came to rest on their foes.

"So good of you to come!" High Heel said, accompanied by Long Face. High Heel was a shoe-sporting super villainess who wore a red suit with black boots and blue tiara with a red jewel embedded in it. Long Face was a white pegasus dressed like a mime wearing goggles which made his eyes appear red. He also possessed a snout much longer than most ponies, as well as a terrible, _terrible_ super villain name. Both were members of the Mane-iac's villainous club, the League of Villainy! Or maybe the Sinful Six.

They were still working on the name.

"Oh, accursed Power Ponies." Long Face said, bouncing a vial in his hoof. "Why would you seek to undo such delicious despair? Let her bask in her misery. Let it grow. Let it spread and fester."

"After we're through with you, the only despair festering will be your own while in jail!" The Masked Matter-horn boasted. She shot a heat ray at Long Face, but Long Face dodged it by jumping in the air. Long Face retaliated by throwing the vial in his hoof, covering the battlefield in black smoke.

"Ugh!" Matter-horn covered her snout as she coughed. "Whatever you do, don't inhale it!" She ordered the rest of her team.

"Sure would be nice of Zapp to be here." Mare-velous commented. "She could summon up a gust of wind and blow this smoke away."

"I did notice you seem to be down a Power Brat." High Heel said she threw another shoe-weapon, this one striking Mare-velous in the head with acute precision, knocking her to the ground.

"I'll show you a Power Brat, you spoiled shoe saleswoman!" Radiance boasted. She made a construct of a motorized fan and worked on using it to blow the smoke away in Zapp's place.

"Radiance, look out!" Matter-horn shouted.

"What?" Radiance was too focused on her task of clearing away the smokescreen to notice Long Face sneaking up on her, holding a vial full of green fluid. Radiance looked around just in time to see him, but not soon enough to prevent him from waving the vial around her face.

"One whiff of this, and you'll be destabilized!" Long Face boasted.

"AAAH!" Radiance screamed, covering her nose. "Dear Celestia, that's noxious! I'd rather go hide in the dumpster again!" She joined action to words as she ran blind out of the smoke and jumped headfirst into the open dumpster.

"Um … perhaps this wasn't the brightest idea." Radiance muttered. She put her hooves on the lip of the dumpster and attempted to push herself out. But the mummy minions saw an opportunity and took her, climbing on top of the dumpster and slamming the lid down on her. "Aah! Curse you! You are all RUINING my coiffure!"

"Ugh!" Matter-horn groaned. "Well, Saddle Rager, it looks like it's up to us!"

"Oh my." Saddle Rager mumbled. She let out a squeak of fear when High Heel appeared in front of her.

"Don't just stand there, smash her!" Matter-horn said. "Get angry!"

"Oh, I don't know that I can ..." Saddle Rager mumbled.

"I saw her kick a bunny on her way over her." Matter-horn lied, trying to get Saddle Rager to rage out just to get any advantage in this fight they were losing. Two-thirds of their team were already down, but if Saddle Rager could just get angry and buff out, they could salvage the whole mission!

"What!?" Saddle Rager bellowed, stomping her hoof towards High Heel as a vein began to bulge in her forehead. "Do you really?" Saddle Rager roared at High Heel, her voice becoming deeper.

"Oh, come on!" High Heel whined. She pouted her lips at Saddle Rager. "Does this look like the face of somepony who would kick bunnies for no good reason?"

Saddle Rager fell for the act and calmed down. "Oh, well, I guess not."

"AAARG, NO! Saddle Rager! Don't fall for her vixen ways!" Matter-horn complained, just before being dogpiled by a herd of mummies.

"Say," High Heel put her hoof on Saddle Rager's chin, "I've always admired the muscles you get in your super-powered form. Why don't we go back to my place and we can do a few crunches with each other? Or maybe on each other, hmm-hmm!" High Heel giggled.

Saddle Rager blushed while her wings rose up. "Oh, I- I don't know, that sounds awfully, um … well, it sounds awfully naughty!" In spite of her reservations, Saddle Rager fell for High Heel's act, leaning forward with a dopey grin as High Heel continued to caress and rub her chin.

"High Heel!" Long Face shouted, taking to the air. "We have we came for. Let's get out of here."

"Oh, phoo." High Heel complained. She whipped out another of her shoe-devices and smacked Saddle Rager over the head with it, knocking her down. High Heel gloated as Saddle Rager rubbed her sore head. "But I wasn't kidding when I said I admired your muscles. Maybe next time, sweet-heart." High Heel jumped and bounded off the walls and rooftops while Long Face flew overhead.

"AAAAAAAAARGH!" With a **mighty shout** that could **pierce the thunder** and **shake the north mountains**, The Masked Matter-horn blew a stream of fire from her horn as if she were a **volcano**, blasting the pile of mummies off her and scorching them in the process. Fed up and frustrated with her team losing, she wasn't content to let the burnt minions crawl away, instead using her magic to drag them back towards her so she could vent her frustration on them by burning them more before she encased them in blocks of ice.

After purging her urge to commit violence out on the mummies, The Masked Matter-horn went to the task of regrouping her team.

* * *

><p>Having spent most of the day with Tresemme and thwarted Rarity's efforts to make her unmask herself, Rainbow Dash was feeling pretty good about herself when she returned to the mansion from Tresemme's. She had just returned after a long period of letting Tresemme lick her hooves. She was such a good sport about it, too.<p>

Rainbow Dash's good mood was soured by none other than Spike, who was giving her the glare parents give their children after they've been out too long at night.

"Uh, Spike?" Rainbow Dash asked. "What's with the look of guilt-shaming? Did I do something wrong?"

Spike nodded his head and turned away, refusing to answer any more questions Rainbow might have. Questions along the lines of just what she had done wrong.

"My, my!" Discord floating over her head, resting on a cotton candy cloud. "You seem awfully chipper for somepony in an imminent danger!"

"Imminent danger?" Rainbow questioned. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, that's right. You little ponies are gifted with the power of foresight I have. Well, let's just say danger for you will be arriving right ... about ... now."

"RAINBOW DASH!" Twilight screamed.

Discord's prediction was on the mark. The mansion doors swung open with palpable force, with the rest of the girls battered and furious. Rarity was sneering, Applejack was scowling, Pinkie Pie was frowning, and both Twilight and even Fluttershy were blowing enraged snorts from their noses.

"Where were y'all!?" Applejack demanded, marching up to Rainbow Dash.

"Uh, hanging out with Tresemme?" Rainbow answered.

"Tresemme." Twilight repeated. "Tresemme, Tresemme, TRESEMME!" Twilight mocked in a whiny, high-pitched voice. "Ever since you went on that date, all we've been hearing about is TRESEMME! Well, guess what, Rainbow Dash, because of TRESEMME, Long Face and High Heel were able to raid a shampoo factory! You know why? Because you weren't there to help us fight them! Now the Mane-iac''s one step closer to completing whatever her evil plan is, and we still have NO IDEA what it is, and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Oh." Rainbow Dash nodded. She put a hoof on her head, reeling from the blow as the realization she had let down her friends struck with the force of a hammer. "Oh, wow. I'm sorry, guys. I didn't know you needed me on the field so bad. It won't happen again."

Twilight snorted again. She thrust a hoof into Rainbow Dash's chest.

"It better not."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes for "Zapp's Sensitive Secret"<strong>

**I gotta say, writing High Heel was really fun. I always have a thing for the femme fatale character. Which High Heel may not necessarily be, but according to my sources, the comic book itself calls her one, even if it doesn't show her acting like it.**

**Not sure the 80's-style comic narration came out as well in this chapter as it did in the last one.**

**Both DarknessRising and I agreed that "League of Villainy" is a boring, generic name. Though I felt the need to use it, as I didn't think it would be super-clear who I was talking about if I didn't use their canon name at least once.**


End file.
